There is no doubting that, as a tall woman, you stand out from the crowd in many ways. Men (and some women, don’t want to generalize) will do double takes when you walk past them and I’m sure we can all recall hearing the not-so-hushed voices of guys/girls commenting on the height and size. When you also happen to be plus size, the attention only seems to increase. Honestly, people often can’t seem to fathom that I’m both tall and fat.
As someone who stands 5’11” and is plus size, I have come to simply accept that people will make comments, either directly or indirectly, and that the only real way to deal with it, other than hitting the reset button on multiple decades of society shaming women who look slightly out of the ordinary, is to embrace it. I put together a list of all the things, be they mundane or weird, I’ve been told/asked by complete strangers out in public.
I’d like to keep building/growing this list so if you have any suggestions of what to add please let me know!
“Do you date guys shorter than you?”
Why do people care?
“What’s the tallest guy you’ve gone out with?”
I don’t generally bring measuring tapes on dates.
“Just how tall are you?”
One bazillion, gazillion inches.
“I’m actually shorter than you. I’m sorry, I can’t date a girl taller than me.”
I’m actually inherently unattracted to people who make physical traits dealbreakers. Good luck working with your very narrow pool of date-able women, guy.
fragile male ego comments
I used to play sports in high school (volleyball, not basketball!) and when finding this out, or even before, I receive a lot of comments relating to my proposed strength.
Sometimes you can get a sense that it’s something the guy is into, i.e. they want you to be a strong Amazon woman and talk to you about it, which, hey, can be cool if they’re hot…! Sometimes the strength-related comments I’ve heard are less complimentary in their delivery though, and more making it about the male ego and how they want to “outperform me” so to speak.
I generally use sarcasm to kill these conversations in the water. Here’s a couple examples with my go-to responses if it helps!
“Are you strong or just big?”
“I’m like the strongest person in the world, dude.”
“I bet you’re good at arm wrestling” – said to me in a bar once by a guy sitting at our table.
Me: “Oh yeah, arm wrestling is one of my favorite hobbies.”
“I bet I can squat more than you.”
“With those skinny legs? Doubt it.”
The guy laughed but his confidence seemed a bit dented after that one. I guess he thought I wasn’t capable of sticking up for myself. NGL, I have no idea how much I can squat, but I was laughing on the inside at how shook he was by that.
“Do you lift?”
“I lift my fat ass every time I get up.”
This is the most common one (laughing at the fact there’s actually a common one) that I get asked, so I’ve got this reply lined up to say from now on. Some of them actually think I don’t know what they meant. Much hilarity!
I know a real common question for tall girls is the whole “did you play basketball?” thing but people tend to avoid that with me, assuming that because I’m bigger I couldn’t play a sport that required cardio. I could…
Most of the comments above are harmless, but it’s a weird world we live in people. A world where others just can’t seem to mind their own business. We have to try to embrace it. Or, you know, tell them to shove it!
Anything you want to add to the list? Let me know in the comments!